Stretch: 2012

Sunday, 11 November 2012

Saturday, 3 November 2012

Thursday, 13 September 2012

BOG: Game Out Loud Podcast #2

I was brought back for the second episode of the Game Out Loud Podcast. I think I'm getting better at...you know....talking...

http://www.bagofgames.com/2012/09/bog-game-out-loud-episode-2/

Wednesday, 5 September 2012

BOG: Game Out Loud Podcast #1

http://www.bagofgames.com/2012/09/bog-game-out-loud-podcast-episode-1/

This is the first episode of the Bag Of Games: Game Out Loud podcast. It was just called Game Out Loud but then Bag Of Games allowed them to host it at the site. Anyway.

I, along with Ryan from Bag Of Games, were asked to join in on the first episode. So here it is. excuse me if I'm extremely quiet, nervous and stutter-y....it's because I am.

Tuesday, 31 July 2012

Recently I received a very nice comment on my Top 5 Worst Moments In Dark Souls article on bagofgames.com. The commenter, Van Hammersly, responded to a few points I made but I was unable to respond because the 'reply' button stops working after a certain amount of times, apparently. So, I'll respond here. It's very unlikely that Van will ever see this, but hopefully anyone else reading will find this interesting. You could find the article with the comment I'm responding to here
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First, Van responded to my phrase "A game is there to entertain the player, not assume the player will automatically care about everything it has". He says that that sentence insinuates that there is only one way for a game to entertain the player, and that Dark Souls itself rewards the player for being patient and 'practicing' within its world.

The latter I completely agree with, and what makes Dark Souls a better 'practice game' than something like Another World is that virtually every 'trap' is never hidden from you. For the most part, the only reason you would ever die in Dark Souls more than once (I'll get to that later) is that you're not trying hard enough, and many player, including myself, have revelled in its challenge and engaging gameplay.

Yet, I really don't see how my quote could mean that there is only one way for a game to entertain a player, and it's certainly not what I meant. I'm just saying that a Video Game's primary purpose is to entertain with the components that make it a Video Game. Them being a game that is displayed with video...of course.
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He then responded to my description of the Crystal Cave area. I explained how the falling crystals didn't do a good enough job of showing the player the path to the other side of the cave, resulting in a boring and tedious road block in the game's progression.

Van called this particular moment of Dark Souls to be particularly tense, as the game gives you a necessarily vague idea as to where the path is, keeping you unsure as to where to go. This, he says, stays consistent with the 'feel' of Dark Souls.

Now my problem with the Crystal Cave is one based on personal experience, yet still has followed me on my two other playthroughs. Simply, the crystals just don't fall frequently enough, or at all. There were several moments where I just stood on the invisible path, waiting for a crystal to land onto an area in front of me...but never did, leaving a big gap that may or may not be safe to step on. There was never a chance for me to pay attention because there wasn't anything to pay attention to.

Also, he says that my tactic of 'running off the path and memorising the layout of it' to be the wrong way to tackle the area, but he goes on to say that a 'leap of faith' is something he found appropriately stressful, even though it's exactly what I was doing. I also don't think that is something the game should make the player do, which is something that really annoys me about many of Dark Souls' areas, especially finding Blacksmith Vamos in the Catacombs.

He also praised the ability for online players to leave messages on the invisible paths to 'mark' them, showing other players where to go, which I find very unfair to those who don't go online...like me.
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Van then commented on my opinion of the first encounter with Seath The Scaleless, being (spoiler) the number 1 worst moment in Dark Souls, according to my list anyway.

I said before that I admire Dark Souls for always giving the player a chance to survive, and if you die, it's your own fault. But the encounter with Seath breaks that idea, creating a trap that automatically kills you without any warning.

Van said that it perfectly suits Dark Souls, as dying is a 'core' part of the game, and the fact that Seath kills you should be seen as one of the many traps Dark Souls has.

Now, I've played Dark Souls about 2.5 times, resulting into well over 100 hours of play time and I can't think of a single trap that 'imprisons' you and automatically kill you. There are traps that severely hurt you like the statues in the Catacombs, but that isn't the point. The point is you can't stop Seath from killing you, which wouldn't be so bad if you weren't then given the punishment of dying.

The first boss of Demon's Souls killed you but you kept the souls you earned. It didn't make any sense, but at least the game didn't swipe away your 'hard work' without warning. But here, you have NO way of knowing that Seath is going to kill you, at least not until the fight is already happening, and even then it's probably too late for you to equip a Ring Of Sacrifice.

Van also said that the only way it could be unfair and cruel is if Seath sent you back to the last bonfire you rested at, which raises my next problem with this moment.

It was established in Dark Souls' game play that you would return to the last Bonfire you rested at if you died . So why is it that you get, or even CAN be, put into a prison next to a Bonfire you haven't used yet? Do you stay as a corpse when you die? How do you get sent back to Bonfires in other situations? How do Bonfires respawn enemies? Why do some monsters respawn and others don't? It's these kinds of questions that really makes me dislike a lot of Dark Souls' vague and unexplained ideas that many people lazily call 'interpretive', as if the game they love is perfect in every conceivable way, and if you don't understand...'think' harder!

And finally, Van responded to a sentence I used in response to another commenter. The sentence was: "Exploration should never be mandatory".

Van said that exploration is a big part of Dark Souls and that your journey can feel aimless at times.

I completely agree with that, but a journey feeling aimless doesn't make it explorative. Just because you don't know where you're going doesn't mean you're exploring. And really, you don't know where you're going in Dark Souls, most of the time. You're vaguely told by some random warrior to ring two bells. One is up and one is down. Sure, your path is revealed to you at the same time your character is seeing it, but you're still progressing through the story because you're still travelling down a linear path, and Dark Souls' story can still be completed without exploring at all.

An example of exploration in games is getting an objective in Skyrim but deciding to disregard it and venture off into an unknown area for the sake of it. That is exploring because you're essentially disobeying the game's requests. In Dark Souls, you may not know exactly where you'll end up, but you're still pressing forward. A man who is walking down a corridor isn't instantly exploring if he suddenly becomes blind. Really, the only explorative areas of Dark Souls is The Great Hollow and Ash Lake because you can finish the game without even knowing they exist.

And that's pretty much it. I'd like to thank Van Hammersly for his thoughtful and, most importantly, civil comment. Sorry if I'm talking about Dark Souls too much...I have another article about it coming out in the next few days...you're welcome.

Tuesday, 29 May 2012

Bastion Review

I do have a fondness for simplistic, yet artistic, games like this. They hardly seem to fall low of expectations and often have something for everyone. But, although I can clearly admire the effort put into Bastion, small problems nibble away at the whole experience and left me quite disappointed.

The game does not start before The Calamity; an event that caused the ground to crack away, allowing fragments of it to rise up at the playable characters feet. So it’s difficult to understand how this affects the people and places, because we don’t really know how the world existed previously. Even with the narrator talking about certain locations the world feels depressingly hollow and underdeveloped.

Your character doesn’t react to the environment while other people and the layout of objects give off the impression that The Calamity is not incredibly odd, but something everyone expected and prepared for. This may have been the case but it hardly feels like a problem when everything is essentially fixing itself as you move.

Also, if you fall off the ‘floor’ your character just plunks down onto it again, so the game play itself makes the rules of this place even more confusing.

The ground constructing itself beneath you doesn’t serve much purpose during game play, since Bastion could very easily have just taken place on “Earth” with the gaps in the ground being replaced with basic holes.

Ofcourse it’s a stylish choice, and an interesting one at that, but since the pre-determined paths form as you walk near them I was constantly asking myself ‘Why doesn’t everyone just walk around and rebuild their world over?’

The path you’re supposed to take is consistently clear, only rarely leading you to dead ends filled with useful items. As far as exploration goes, you never feel in danger. I could easily tell where the ground would form so I was never nervous or stressed, almost as if my progression was already laid out.

However, the clustered environments can make it tricky to tell if you’re about to step on a gap or just a dark tile, but falling off is only punished with a tiny bit of damage from the fall back. This can make the absurd situation feel weirdly safe, especially since there are some gaps that are so small that it’s impossible to fall through them.

It is purely an aesthetic choice, since combat doesn’t really make use of it either.

As you progress through Bastion you systematically obtain varied weapons to fight equally varied enemies. I was afraid that I would spend all my…gems…or whatever they are on upgrading lesser weapons, which would later become obsolete when I found one more suitable to my playing style. Fortunately, you are given an appropriate amount of time and currency to test out each weapon before finding one that suits you. And, predictably, there are some enemies that can be killed more effectively with certain weapons, so you can’t just stick with one. For me, it was a big hammer and a musket.

No weapon that you receive feels useless, except maybe the carbine that takes forever to aim, and each enemy can take a satisfying amount of punishment from each one. Although there are some enemies, like plants that shoot spikes at you, that have such a wide and long attack range that they're pretty much impossible to kill without taking damage yourself. In those cases, I just ran up to them and smashed them with my hammer as fast as I could.

The upgrades you place onto your weapons are my favourite kinds of upgrades; dynamic and game changing. Granted, there are some boring ones like +15% damage, but many improve the reload and firing rate among other things by relatively large amounts. Each upgrade, the good ones at least, are instantly noticeable and greatly increase your effective in combat.

The game play progresses smoothly and even though the environments can get repetitive the more you play in them, the enemies and situations never become crude upgrades of themselves. The only exception to that are these miner monsters made out of gas, apparently, that just become larger and/or more numerous as the game continues.

Combat itself can get rather manic. I’m positive that a small amount of it is due to my lack of experience using a keyboard. But since you have a plentiful supply of health and healing potions (I think they’re called something else but whatever, they’re potions) you never feel cheated when you get swamped by enemies. You don’t necessarily have to be careful, just quick and skillful. And since the camera angle makes it virtually impossible for you to be blind sighted, combat, although sometimes tricky, never feels overly oppressive.

Like Dante’s Inferno, the fact that enemies are introduced in areas they suit but later show up in completely unrelated areas makes the world itself feel shallow and even claustrophobic. You’ll go to a foggy swamp areas, fight some toad-like creatures, only for them to revisit you later in a non-swamp area. Luckily they don’t appear in places covered with ice, which would have been more ridiculous than this game’s premise.

Since the areas you go to only have small retrospective back-stories or reason for being how they are, Bastion’s world, while still showing mildly different locations, has the explorative feel of a street with a cul-de-sac.

Massive praise has to go to the attention to detail here. I’m not talking about the beautifully artistic look of the locations and enemies. I mean the games acknowledgement of your seemingly trivial actions.

Virtually every aspect of the game is narrated, which automatically makes the journey feel more charming and story book-ish. There are many moments where you are given weapons that you can later replace with others during a single level. When you get the weapon, the narrator comments of it, giving rather subtle clues beneath his narration as to how it works and how to use it effectively, such as “The kid knew he had to stay out of harm’s way when reloadin'”. And when/if you replace it later, he will say something like “He put away his new toy and got something more to his liking”. This is such an impressive and praiseworthy thing for a game to do that it basically breaks the immersion. It makes the journey feel infinitely more personal, and because the narrator never describes your actions with negative inflections you always stay positive and never feel like you're doing the wrong thing.

The narrator commenting on such a numerous amount of things is simply delightful, and gives emotional context and feeling to every situation. This is needed in practically all moments since the playable character has as much personality as Pac-Man.

The story itself isn’t anything special. With not much back-story, simplistic characters and areas in the game that just let you crudely test out your weapons like you’re in an arcade, Bastion doesn’t seem to care about the world it’s creating.

The narration helps the underdeveloped story, but it is most effective when mentioning specific events that happened before The Calamity, since it makes the fact that the ground is rising beneath and falling above you more engaging. Really, the narration is the only thing that makes the vague enemies, story, setting and characters have any amount of interest and understandability. Even enemies that look like Wailmer from Pokémon feel more substantial when there’s a story-teller backing them up.

Bastion isn’t anything new. Personally, I was very used to the art style from Might and Magic: Clash of Heroes.

The concept of reforming floor isn’t a part of the game play in any major way, and isn’t explored enough to feel important, especially since you start with it already happening and never play without it, making The Calamity feel uncomfortably normal.

Combat is enjoyable thanks to useful weapons, distinct enemies and fairly dynamic upgrades. Yet you can very easily be surrounded and pummeled by enemies, which doesn’t become a huge problem because you can roll away and attack them easily.

The world Bastion creates is sadly underdeveloped. It is more focused on putting in good game play that reacts well with all its components then actually placing meaning behind what’s happening. There’s an ability that allows you to jump that you only get during the climax, which seems like a pretty random place to put such a classic improvement to the game play. And there are many times when you are introduced to a new enemy and the narrator says something to the effect of “Those things. They live here. Watch out for them”.

On a small level I found the look and feel endearing. I finished it all in 1 day, and I never felt like leaving it, which is one of the biggest compliments you can give any game. I wanted to keep playing.

Monday, 14 May 2012

Star Wars: The Old Republic: Revan

Anyone who knows me is aware that I hardly ever read. It’s not that much of a stretch to say that I never read at all. But few books have had the effect that Star Wars: The Old Republic: Revan just had on me. Honestly, I couldn’t put it down…even when I had a headache on a four hour plane flight.

SW:TOR:R (yeah, I’ll call it that) Spans a surprisingly long time; taking place between Star Wars Knight of the Old Republic and Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords, before jumping to the after effects of the latter. It references these games sparsely but appropriately, bringing back necessary characters that play vital roles while even having arcs of their own. Events like The Mass Shadow Generator incident is mentioned but not dwelled on, so the novel constantly has a sense of drive and doesn’t just gives fans some nerdy nostalgia…which I would have been happy with. Even popular characters like HK-47 and Kreia are just talked about but never show up.

Unfortunately, the vast history of the characters is a hindrance to the book, but it would have been almost impossible to avoid it. Many moments, especially near the start, contain huge amounts of exposition to form the back-story of people and places. If I wasn’t incredibly familiar with both KOTOR games, I’m afraid I may not have been able to understand the presence some of these characters and locations possess.

Not that it would matter since SW:TOR:R is quick to jump into its own story with old and new characters going along for the ride. It focuses solely on two characters (excluding a third who has some little chapters to herself), Revan and Darth Scourge. Each man’s story dynamically cuts back and forth from each other, and has some of the best cliff-hanger sentences I’ve ever read. The overall story itself is actually deceptively short but the characters that are introduced have a clear journey throughout the book and never overstay their welcome. The book is big enough to give descriptions of each person and place, while keeping the progression at a steady pace. Many characters like Sechel and Revan grow and change so their personality is explored throughout the novel and not just shoved into one spot before letting loose…most of the time.

Unfortunately, the whole novel seems to build up to a climax that never really finishes, as if it’s just hanging in the air ready to come back down as a conclusion. This is definitely the intention, since SW:TOR:R is primarily an introduction to Star Wars: The Old Republic, the MMO taking place after KOTOR 1,2 and this book, but more closure would have made it feel more complete and satisfying. The universe it creates is deliciously Star Wars-y, with hammy dialogue and settings, which helps illustrate the images it’s explaining. That may just be for me but I was easily able to visualize every single scene as if I were watching a movie. When all the main characters finally meet up, they’ve all had enormous amounts of experiences for the reader to get invested, while also feeling retrospectively engaged by their previous adventures. Everything these characters do can get pretty unbelievable and even awkwardly convenient, but just as a story, it greatly assists the reader in understanding their behavior and reactions, since we learn how they deal with certain situations before things get much more difficult.

With the introduction of Darth Scourge, it’s easy to feel like the book is drifting too far into unfamiliar territory and may introduce characters before crudely discarding them with no closure or impact. Luckily, the book is large enough to accommodate Scourge’s early journeys, some of which feel immensely important at the time of reading them but drift away later on. In fact, Scourge’s tasks do drag slightly, at least when compared to the entire novel as a whole. I basically forgot most of what Scourge previously did while I was reading the book’s climax. Many of his chapters feel too vague and investigational, like he’s figuring out something that he’s pretty much told eventually and less like he’s working towards something. Yet, I was still engaged, at least on a basic level. For one thing; he’s a new character that interacts with other new characters, so although this book essentially draws history from three video games, it does have its own sense of identity and growth.

I did instinctively care more about people I knew from the games, but the characters that are introduced and then killed off bring weight with them through specific descriptions and masterfully flowing dialogue.

The novel, however, should have explained the characters more, if just slightly. Malak, Bastilla and even The Exile (Called Meetra Surik here, which is even more random than the Random Names KOTOR II gave me…) aren’t explored in any great detail, which can make them feel pretty hollow compared to Revan, Scourge and others. But then you’ve got The Emperor, who is barely developed in the entire novel, which weakens the impact of the climax as well as the introduction to Star Wars: The Old Republic (whatever the introduction is to that game). This is weirdly unsettling since I assume he’s the person sitting on the chair on the back of the book itself. Revan actually has the opposite problem, if only temporarily. The start of the novel is crammed full of back-story, involving a lot of KOTOR 1, which could have been expressed a lot shorter or spread out through the novel. This again shows how overwhelmed Drew Karpysyn is when writing something that involves so much known history. He doesn’t bite off more than he can chew, but there are some ‘story speed –bumps’ to get over.

Ofcourse the book is for Star Wars fans, which is lucky since it doesn’t really go in depth on the concepts and cultures of the universe. I don’t think it ever truly explains a lightsaber, and if this was the first Star Wars thing ever made I would have been incredibly confused as to what The Force actually is. And even if this was the first Star Wars thing I ever experienced, it doesn’t elaborate too much on locations, situations, appearances and people enough for me to work to understand what the book assumes I already know. (Try and wrap your head around that sentence)

The descriptions themselves, although brief, are incredibly bold and cutting. The words “T3 never stood a chance” made the past nine years of my KOTOR playing life rush back to me. Drew Karpysyn seems very aware of this, treating the deaths of characters with an appropriate sense of coldness and simplicity.

His precise descriptions work wonders when explaining physical settings, such as the surface of the planet Nathema that made me feel like I was literally choking. Even an incredibly important place like Dromund Kaas is depicted minimally; although its appearance isn’t brought up nearly enough. When the cloudy sky comes up after about 200 pages it’s like a jarring reminder, so I had to remember back to every other scene that took place on this planet and splice in a cloudy sky.

Fortunately, no time is spent holding back the dialogue and action. Action scenes are very distinct. Many are interrupted by the introductions of new elements, others are just short battles and the rest are broad enough for you to just focus on the methodical steps of the main characters. No second is left alone; there was even a moment when it was explained why Revan couldn’t just rush at someone while they were charging their Dark Side lasers!!!!! Actually, when it’s a duel between Jedi it’s nearly always ended or at least delayed by Force Lightning. It’s still effective when it happens, but the descriptions may as well just constantly say “pain was coursing through his body like fire” every time.

Star Wars: The Old Republic: Revan is just a great book, in a very traditional sense. Characters are introduced, who then play specific and dynamic roles before moving onto the next objective. Characters die, even ones you wouldn’t expect until the very second it happens. And although the ending wasn’t very conclusive, it was still a satisfying experience throughout. I really do appreciate Drew Karpysyn’s understanding and references to the games, something I hope Star Wars: The Old Republic embraces…I haven’t played it yet…somehow.

Friday, 27 April 2012

Prototype 2 Review

http://www.bagofgames.com/2012/04/prototype-2-x-box-360-review/

Wednesday, 11 April 2012

Lost Planet 3: Ramblings Of A Fanboy

http://www.bagofgames.com/2012/04/lost-planet-3-ramblings-of-a-fanboy/

Sunday, 1 April 2012

Mass Effect 3's Ending & Shepard Indoctrination Theory

http://www.bagofgames.com/2012/04/mass-effect-3s-ending-shepard-indoctrination-theory/

Friday, 30 March 2012

Stretch Reviews - realMyst

http://www.bagofgames.com/2012/03/stretch-reviews-realmyst/

I'm using YouTube now since Blip.TV won't upload my stuff for some reason.

I just can't...

I've tried using a friends computer, using YouTube, switching YouTube channels and contacting Blip.TV Support but I just can't upload any of my videos. It's like the internet is specifically stopping me from putting videos up. I just don't understand it.

If you want to tell my viewers in some way that this is happening, please do. I don't want people to think that I don't care and have stopped. This is one of the most important things in my life and if I stopped, trust me, I would make it special.

I can't fathom the idea of not making videos. I've been doing it for over 2 years and even though I've come up with an un-fair amount of troubles, including this, I've loved every second of it. The best things in my life have come out of this. I recently visited America which definately wouldn't have happened if I hadn't have done my Stretch Reviews videos.

I guess all I can say is, I'm sorry that I can't give you any videos now. I hope that something will come along and fix everything.

This is horrible.

Mass Effect 3 Xbox 360 Review

http://www.bagofgames.com/2012/03/mass-effect-3-xbox-360-review/

Tuesday, 27 March 2012

I'm back + Blip troubles + nothing else...

Sunday, 4 March 2012

Holiday

I'm going to be in America until the start of April. Be sure to check some recent stuff on www.bagofgames.com and my next Stretch Review will hopefully be out near the middle of March.

I'll be back soon and I have a huge schedule lined up all the way to September.

Sunday, 26 February 2012

NeverDead Review

http://www.bagofgames.com/2012/02/neverdead-xbox-360-review/

I had some more things to say. The upgrade system is too limited and you'll barely even pay attention to it. The music by Megadeth is pretty thrilling. I still haven't finished it yet. There's a few moments when you go to Arcadia's aprtment and look around it. It's like a hub world...but not really because you just go there and then go out the door. The weird thing is, you can go around her apartment and 'use' things like lying on a bed, taking a shower (with clothes on) sitting on a chair and even opening her drawers and looking at her lingerie...pretty useless. It's also weirdly patronising as Arcadia states something like "Look out for this enemy because they charge their attack so be sure to hit them from behind". How does Bryce not already know that?! Anyway the game sucksdon'tgetit.

Wednesday, 15 February 2012

Stretch Reviews - Dante's Inferno

Sunday, 12 February 2012

Dark Souls Thoughts

It would take a dragon a couple bites to get through that Hydra flesh...

EDIT (15-02-2011)
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Okay. I have just now finished Dark Souls. The whole 'difficulty' thing got pretty old for the last several hours and got increasingly annoying and surprisingly boring. There were times when I really didn't want to play it. Dark Souls is a fantastic journey, but nothing else. The logistical locations, creature designs and especially the music create an incredibly magical experience. The story and characters are played up as if they're supposed to be important but it's so vague and lazy about it that it's very hard to care outside of the challenge of each fight and location. I can't resist saying that I'm rather disappointed. Dark Souls could have been the best game I have ever played. Period. But due to the vague and pretentious story it all feels depressingly hollow. It would have worked so much better if it hadn't even tried to have a story for you in the first place. Just drop me into the dangerous world and leave me to it's mystery. Make me care about my safety in this universe, not the universe itself.

Overall, it's hard to say something good about Dark Souls without something negative propping out somewhere. Magical. Dark. Intuitive. Depressing. Annoying. Boring. Clever. Mystical. That's Dark Souls.

Thursday, 9 February 2012

38 Favourite Video Game Quotes

I've been planning on doing this for a while.

It's really no surprise that my favourite quotes are from robots in Star Wars games.

If you have any that you like let me know. I'm genuinely interested.

Sunday, 29 January 2012

Star Wars: The Force Unleashed II Review

As many people who pretend not to know me are aware of; I am a huge Star Wars fan. I know that Boba Fett is a Mandalorian, I know that there were four IG-88 droids and I know what planet General Grievous is from. It’s Kalee by the way. So I was actually surprisingly enthusiastic after getting through a pretty lackluster text crawl and seeing Darth Vader’s ship fly to Kamino. The music and some rare set pieces were actually rather enjoyable for me, if just nostalgically.

So we find out that Starkiller was cloned and is now some kind of apprentice for Darth Vader, or something, whatever. We learn practically nothing about any character which makes the story feel unmotivated and vacuous, which is worse because the story is that without even adding anything else to the equation. It takes the information from the first The Force Unleashed and carries it here so if you didn’t know exactly what happened you’ll be more lost than a Jawa on Hoth.

The whole clone aspect is brought up, mentioned a few times but never expanded in any way. You’re told that it’s impossible to clone Jedi but we see Vader use a bunch of duplicated Starkillers, childishly categorized into blue force users and brown lightsaber users. And that’s never addressed. Characters including Proxy and Boba Fett show up but they barely do anything. Proxy is just a connection to the surprisingly superior first game and Fett simply kidnaps Juno Eclipse, who is apparently the love interest and primary objective for no clear reason, and never shows up again. And when Starkiller travels to Dagobah, for the hell of it, he has a shockingly short chat with Yoda that may as well have been one of them saying “sup”. The story is so hasty and lackluster, filled with meaningless boss fights, enemy introductions and drawn out situations. I can barely comprehend what even happened and why. Starkiller himself has miniscule amounts of character that crumble away near the climax when he starts constantly shouting “Where is she!?”. After the third time I expected him to punch The Joker in the face.

Why didn't it fire that many before?!

The combat is just as crude and lifeless as the story. Now, it may be a surprise to hear this from something who is pretending to be a Video Game Critic, but, I have a slight fondness for quick time events. I think they have the potential to seamlessly mesh the gameplay in with a cut scene therefore creating a cinematic and fully interactive experience. We’re not there yet and The Force Unleashed II is evidence of that. The QTE could have been quite effective if large enemies didn’t show up so often, turning many fights into obnoxious chores. And when you slash and shock stupid bipedal robots with flamethrowers you begin their cinematic execution and the last button you have to push is completely random. It makes sense having ‘circle’ be force push and ‘triangle’ use lightning, but no matter what button you hit Starkiller just spits out another little force push and then flips around a bit, which the game acts out for me. It would have been so awesome if these events gave you the ability to choose what moves you did to take something down, using the cinematic moment for added focus on single enemies and stylish moves instead of zapping and hitting things like a steroidal BioShock. For example; you fight a large target and engage its QTE, but now you can choose whether to damage it with a lightsaber strike, make it stumble with force push or stun it with lightning. All of these choices have distinct effects on the enemy and even things around it. If I just have to push ‘square’ for Starkiller to begin a destructive display of Jedi acrobatics then what’s the point of me doing anything or the oppurtunity even being there?

I was told that dismemberment was present here but it happens so little it may as well never exist. I threw several storm troopers into a giant fan only for them to boringly bounce off and your lightsaber just cuts people slightly which makes slicing an AT-TE in half make even less sense. This series does not have a tendency of being child friendly. Realistic dismemberment would have been monumentally effective, for an effectively visceral experience and especially for sales.

...and Tie......Defender....

The camera is always placed too far away from the action. I felt like a kid who was smacking his toys together so I mostly just swung my lightsaber around and sporadically zapped storm troopers until a door opened, because doors only open until everyone is dead in a room, common fact. Also, stop inventing enemies just for specific games! It’s exactly how I feel about Star Wars Lego that makes up ships like a Tie Defender. Here’s an idea; use enemies and vehicles that are familiar and comfortable in the Star Wars universe and make Starkiller less powerful. Making every enemy and situation large and explosive doesn’t work because there’s no contrast to anything else around it. Larger enemies do mildly mix a situation up, but because they appear in virtually every fight you’re in, they are the situation. And now they can kick you when you’re close, so they at least pose a threat, an annoying and completely harmless threat. Besides that they either ineffectively blast you with lasers or fire missles that you can counter back with such an easily timed deflection that it took me a while to master it because I assumed that “deflect missles back just as they are about to hit you” meant less than 20 feet in front of me. There were even these large droids with General Grievous faces which would have been very interesting if it was more than just pretentious aesthetic to make the developers seem deep. Overall, the combat jarringly jumps from being a rather successful display of Starkiller’s raw power to systematically quick time event-ing large droids to death.

She survives by the way.....yay.........

Worst of all is the excruciatingly tedious fight with Darth Vader himself. There is absolutely no strategy except zapping him for a millisecond and then flailing your lightsabers in his general direction. He effortlessly blocks everything else and is such a stupidly repetitive ‘challenge’ that fighting him as an end boss is just depressing, especially for such an iconic character. He has the mentality of a Nintendo 64 boss, continuously throwing things at you despite the fact that you’ve thrown them back at him 20 times, running away and letting his goons take care of you, taking ridiculous amounts of damage and jumping to a platform only for you to jump after him. It’s only afterwards when he has Juno hostage and orders you to obey his commands when things actually start to get drastically more interesting. But all that potential is instantly ripped away when Juno takes a swing at Vader and he just throws her out a window which makes his surprisingly stirring speech, which could have made the game go for another 14 hours and possibly be good, completely pointless.

And that’s what this game is; pointless. Its story is horrendously tacky and short, going to three locations; two planets and one ship. The combat, while sometimes mildly fun, is basic, bland and never becomes anything other than ‘Starkiller bombastically thrashes his lightsabers around and spits out lightning and blue wind’. It’s just depressing because The Force Unleashed series had such an opportunity of being amazing. Especially since it actually acts outside the canon of Star Wars and treats its characters with relative respect. I loved it when Boba Fett, Vader and even Proxy showed up but they just didn’t do enough. Like Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic; The Force Unleashed II didn’t have to be Star Wars to be good. With more effort in story, combat and pretty much everything else it could have been a really endearing series of games. Instead it’s another grotesque attachment on the hideous mutant that is the Star Wars franchise. I chose the Lightside ending by the way. I’m a nice guy.

Saturday, 28 January 2012

Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception Review

I celebrated Australia Day by playing about seven hours of Uncharted 3 on my brother’s Shiny Black Monolith (PS3). The fact that I was able to finish the whole game in one day with a short ‘2 Minute Noodle Break’ should give you an idea of what I thought of Drake’s Deception.

Firstly; No. No no no no. You cannot have your character fall out of a plane, land in the middle of the desert, walk for dozens of hours without food or water, hallucinate and then fight off a battalion of soldiers while rolling, shooting and climbing his way around. No. Stupid.

Secondly; Uncharted 3 wants to be a movie. It’s like Naughty Dog intended to make the series a trilogy of movies but resorted to an interactive medium to strike at a growing market. It’s flooded with cut scenes which I always have an instant stigma against since it’s the non-game part of a game. Yet, the gameplay still effectively fades in from a cinematic or flawlessly slides its way into the action. This creates a distinct flow that continues throughout most of the journey. Unfortunately, because these moments occur so frequently, it’s hard to tell whether you can even control Drake or not. I couldn’t control Drake when he shot someone, yet I didn’t do anything while he was falling out of a plane, causing me to plummet to my sandy death. If you put down the controller to watch the cinematics you’ll have to lunge for it when the interactive elements jumps back to the spotlight.

The climbing, shooting and puzzle-ing aspect is here again but it doesn’t pace itself quite like Uncharted 2. All the sections are spaced relatively well to each other but there’s too much of everything, so it goes for too long and clogs up the experience. This may be because I played it all in one day, but I started and finished Uncharted 2 about 2.5 times in a week and it never got tiresome. I do more than just play games by the way.

I’ve never been that instinctive with puzzles in games and fortunately those moments are deceptively scarce here. My favourite, or least despised, involved standing in a specific spot to hold a map up to correctly align it with objects in the room. That is simple and dynamic, with a clear goal and way of achieving it. When I know what needs to be done but can’t finish it because the tools are so obscure or fidgety it crushes the momentum and any enthusiasm I had. Every single puzzle section puts such a halt on everything and you’d think the ancient civilization would just have their massive door made with a key lock instead of huge gears, levers, pillars and conveniently climbable objects.

There’s essentially no innovation here. You could say “Don’t fix what’s not broken”, but I can say “I could play Uncharted 2 and get the exact same experience, except better.” Drake still finds himself in sporadically varying environments which does make the experience as a whole more intriguing and vibrant, but the sheer size of everything can get very obnoxious. Although the graphics are absolutely unbelievable, the buildings, ships and everything else that’s randomly broken is mostly seen as something that can be climbed to get out of. The camera does pull back to give you very awe-inspiring shots but you’ll always be looking for some overly convenient thing to grab onto so not only is that difficult because you can barely see yourself but it’s seen as a truncated puzzle and not just a pretty location. What makes the too few chase scenes incredibly enjoyable is that you’re instinctively using clearly placed objects to guide you to someone running along the same path. It’s timed, which adds tension, and the objects that are placed like ramps are more useful in that situation than Drake climbing up something where his arm tells you if you can do it.

Fighting was arguably my least favourite part. Enemies throw grenades like ‘hot potatoes’ and Nathan Drake controls like a horse, so taking cover and fighting multiple targets is stiff, clunky and sometimes incredibly annoying. The guns also have aiming that's a little too realistic for my taste. When you finally blow up a truck or even kill a single enemy it’s satisfying, mainly because it’s one less annoying part of the situation. Brawls with single targets are realistic and intuitive for the first couple hours of the game. After that point you’ll realize how Drake constantly uses the same set of moves and counters, so fighting become a tedious pattern you’ll have to adamantly endure until the enemy goes down after an arbitrary amount of kicks in the jewels. I was playing on easy yet some people can take ridiculous amounts of damage, even when you shoot them in the face. Drake himself can take obscene rounds punishment while automatically healing his bullet wounds like a snarky Wolverine. It feels like BioShock, in that ammo is scarce, certain enemies are hard to take down and when you shoot someone they show no feedback and red paint spurts out of them like you shot a bleeding pimple. This, sometimes, can make for very tense conditions because it forces you to resort to guns and tactics you wouldn’t comfortably use. Other times it’s infuriating but the autosaves are common enough to not shatter enjoyment, kinda.

The characters are charismatic in a pretty superfluous way. They can shine in particular moments, mostly at the start and end, but they usually just vomit out adventurous quips and exposition that I barely listen to. It’s surprising what particular characters set up and never expand on. One of the first people you meet is shown to be claustrophobic. You see him get anxious in tight areas which makes him feel wonderfully human, but then he vanishes before the half way point and is barely mentioned again. We also play Nathan Drake as a child and see how he met his friend and pseudo-mentor Sulley, but nothing really comes of it, we just see how they met, with bombastically climactic results. We also learn that Nathan Drake isn’t Drake’s real name, but it’s brought up out of nowhere as if we’re supposed to just ride that sentence to some meaningful conclusion that the game never gives us. There are even some ‘trippy’ moments when Drake gets drugged and these actually clash with the ‘real’ moments in an entertaining way, if just to see something different. But nothing even comes of that, he either runs through a Middle Eastern market for what feels like seven minutes or the game (spoilers) makes you think a character is dead until it just goes “Nope, it was ALLLLLLL a dream”.

My favourite moment from the whole game is when you control Nathan walking in the desert. It’s just that; Nathan walking in the desert. The length of the moment and the fact that it’s essentially right on the front cover makes it clear the developers were proud of it. They should be. I’m glad they put in such a serene segment since every other time you’re falling, shooting, doing a puzzle or jumping off things just before they dramatically break apart. I really felt for Drake in this situation, especially when he finds a well for a second time and realizes he’s been going in circles. When he finally finds a city I almost started crying, ‘manly crying’…you know? When your eyes get moist but nothing drips out…I probably could have worded that better…anyway.

If you liked the other Uncharted games then you’ll like this, because it’s stayed exactly the same. The situations are still grossly ludicrous but still enjoyable. The mechanics of climbing huge structures is user friendly and simple, while the controls can make combat unintentionally difficult. I would actually recommend playing it on VERY EASY. Guns and ammo are sparse enough to make virtually every combat scenario effective/annoying and it’s not like the game being hard makes a chapter taking place in a boat graveyard more redundant.

Stretch